Good advice

It is time to defend your job. Here are ten good ideas that will help your boss think correctly about who should stay and who should go.


1. Be seen taking random photographs with your cell phone. Take photos of the cars in the office parking lot and the restaurants where coworkers go to lunch.

2. Leave copies of gun magazines on your desk and start wearing cammo on casual Friday.

3. Make up a story about a lawyer relative who recently passed the Bar who can’t find a job and is looking for something to do. Repeatedly ask the HR people if they can help find anything for him since they’re not busy hiring people.

4. Join a social club that your boss belongs to and begin attending his church.

5. Make psychiatrist appointments where coworkers can hear you.

6. Enroll your kids in the same day-care as your supervisor’s bosses’ kids go to, and tell your children to make friends fast or the Wii gets sold on eBay.

7. Immediately begin to cry uncontrollably whenever someone mentions layoffs or any negative employment news.

8. If you have a coworker with a similar job and jealousy issues, send a tell-all letter to him from his wife’s lover.

9. “Hurt your back”, and go home and read the long-term disability policy.

10. Tell your wife to put the moves on your boss. See #1 if successful. One picture is worth a thousand paychecks.